madwitch: (Lumberjack)
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I would be Christian Bale's scene, because God help the motherfucker who trashes me.
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I refer you to this.

Keep the inane writer's block questions coming, LJ.
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No, I'm British. It takes more than sniffles and a media panic to worry me. The whole thing is silly.

As long as the tea stocks don't dwindle, the remarkably unlikely quarantine will not bother me in the slightest. Especially not if I can get to Madagascar.

Also, the Falkirk Two (the couple who developed it on their return from their honeymoon in Mexico, and who are now FINE and out of hospital gosh it's so deadly) have apparently hooked up with Max Clifford to sell their story.

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I'm just going to get the tube home. Carry on. :-)

This is a stupid question and [ profile] rona_emo should feel stupid for submitting it.
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I am in love with London: The Biography already, and I've only read the introduction.

"London is so large and so wild that it contains no less than everything".
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This is hilarious. Ganked from [ profile] mark13
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Dear Australians, What? I was almost hoping you might be the last bastion of people not doing stuff like this. WOE. Will calling it "dryness" really make that much of a difference?

This is a dangerous news story. Now there is precedent. Do not let your children see this story.

Oh please, please let this be true. Please.
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It was one thing with Dr Kangle and Mz Loco having dragons all over the place, but now even the Ditz has fallen to the dragon love, and it's all too much.

Please click, save a dragon! )
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What drugs is the person that came up with this question on, and where can I get some?
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I wrote this for [ profile] numbedtoe's writing challenge, and now she has seen it I make it public.

Criteria were set for this challenge. Whatever was written had to incorporate some or all of the following:

A porn star turned vampire slayer
A vampire with a tooth ache
A mummy having problems with his HMO
A masked serial killer having a midlife crisis
A witch strangely attracted to a zombie
A zombie who moans arias
A furry hating wolfman (is he self loathing? you tell me)
A wizard who can't cast a proper love spell
A pumpkin who hungers for human flesh

Bambi the Vampire Slayer )
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Mr Astley thinks it's a wind up. One that he thinks his Mum is behind.

Mr Astley thinks he hasn't a hope in hell of winning. Dearest internet, what do we say to that?

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Sod this, I'm going boot shopping.
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Which drugs are these women on? Place your bets now.
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Which circle of Hell do you reckon that people with ~*edgy*~ opinions should be sent to?
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That, or the wine.

Picture the scene. Our flat in Battersea, [ profile] medusa_nw and I are watching "Strictly Come Dancing" (Dancing with the Stars for you US types). Bette Midler is singing whilst some professionals dance. This seems like a reasonably low rent show for Bette Midler to be on.

Act 1, Scene 1.

Me: How on earth did they get Bette Midler to agree to perform on this?

[ profile] medusa_nw: Apparently her and Brucie (Bruce Forsythe) are getting it on.

Me: o_O


Exit [ profile] madwitch, pursued by a bear disturbing mental images.
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